So, I’ve been neglecting my blog again.
There have been lots of things over the last few weeks I’ve wanted to write about, including the refugee camps, a trip to Jenin and graffitiing a security wall, but I have to be honest with myself and admit that I’ve run out of time in writing all this up before I go home. (I am heading home on Tuesday.)
In some ways, this is maybe no bad thing. I’ve also intended, as I said before, to write about my take on Islam and my opinions on the political situation over here, but I don’t really know where to start with either of these things. (It’s fair to say there’s been a lot I haven’t said so far.) Maybe the opportunity to return home and reflect on what I’ve learnt might make the words come a wee bit easier.
But, for now, my focus is on leaving.
I’m sorry to be leaving, upset that an experience that has meant so much to me is coming to an end, sad to be leaving Palestine and its people behind, dreading saying goodbye to so many friends.
Other than that, it’s hard to sum up all that I’m feeling right now, so I’ll just end this post with a poem I wrote a few weeks ago.
NABLUS, NOVEMBER 2010
I don’t want to go home. Not yet. But I must.
I have people to see, hugs to give, stories to tell.
But I love it here, and I know that when I leave
it will feel like leaving a part of myself behind,
like saying goodbye to a loved one I know I
may never see again.
And what will home be like? Will it have changed
as much as I have changed? Will my new perspective
show me ugly truths where once there was just the
comfort of my everyday landscape? And will I still
have as much love to give the people back home,
or will I have invested too much affection in
this land, these people?
8 comments:
You will have more love to receive...
This is both profoundly moving and crucial. You will have the time back here, and the loving context, to process what has become so very important to you. And bear this thought in mind - the reservoir of love we have is unfathomable; the more we give and open up our resource, the more we will find there is to give. Our love will never run out - neither ours nor yours. Have a safe journey home.
Although you leave, what Palestine and its people have given you will stay with you forever. Cherish this. Carry something (physical if necessary) to remind you of this. One day I shall bore you with my love of existential psychology - but here it is in a nut shell - no experiences is ever wasted, especially ones that bend and shape us. Hugs waiting. K x
you'll be back and see all your friends again inshalla..soon hopefully!!
this land, and its people have loved you as much as you love them, you'll always stay in our hearts...till we meet again my friend!
Haneen Masri
To lighten things somewhat ... You’ll know, of course, that 'The Long Goodbye' is a 1953 novel by Raymond Chandler, centered on his famous detective Philip Marlowe, a the novel which received the Edgar Award for Best Novel in 1955. In addition, you’ll be well aware that, based on this book, 'The Long Goodbye', directed by Robert Altman, is a 1973 American contemporary ‘film noir’ adaptation of Chandler's novel, featuring Elliott Gould as Philip Marlowe, along with Sterling Hayden, Nina Van Pallandt, Jim Bouton and Mark Rydell. Oh, but in case you didn’t know, 'The Long Goodbye' is also an Inde band, based in California. And 'The Long Goodbye' is also a song by Ronan Keating, released in 2008. Enough? Well, no … 'The Long Goodbye'is also a ‘West Wing’ episode from Season 4 from January 2003 where CJ is dealing with her father’s Alzheimer's, and Toby asks if she knows that the disease is sometimes called ‘The long goodbye’. And, just before I’m finished, 'The Long Goodbye' is also Episode 16 in Series 2 of ‘Stargate Atlantis’ broadcast on Sky in February 2006, in which the alien combatants look to settle an ancient score by using Weir and Sheppard as pawns … just so you don’t feel your own ‘long goodbye’ leaves you isolated!
Michelle Branch's song - Long Goodbye, is way better than Ronan Keating's. And she is better looking. x
It's good to see you're not wasting your retirement by just looking up trivia on the internet, dad. It's good to know, however, that I'm in such esteemed company as Raymond Chandler, Robert Altman and, em, Ronan Keating.
Looking forward to a long hello with your own esteemed self...
Safe journey. Will be thinking of you all the way. M x
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